New Entered Apprentice needs help Mar 25, 2014 17:14:47 GMT
Post by bigdaddyv on Mar 25, 2014 17:14:47 GMT
Hello everyone, I'm having some serious trouble, and I believe it's a result of Masonic initiation (I quit the day immediately after initiation because my intuition told me something wasn't right). I have been noticing an expansion of consciousness and lighter feeling in my feet, and I fear that this power may come from an order which at its highest levels may be malicious and deceptive. Let me explain why I feel this may be so. I have read from multiple sources that the hidden name of God within Masonry is Jahbulon. A quick Google search of Jahbulon, however, returns images of one of the princes of Hell from the Lesser Key of Solomon. Keep in mind this initiation was into traditional, male-only Masonry. The upside down pentagram logo of the Order of the Eastern Star in the Lodge room was also rather unsettling. I have also learned that Masons that go through the Holy Royal Arch degree agree to keep all the secrets of their fellow Masons, murder and treason included. How can something that is of God include an oath such as this? To top all of this off, I read a passage in the Bible (which I was unaware of at the time) that reads as follows: "Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil." Unfortunately, I feel I may have created a spiritual link between myself and something extremely evil. I remember reading that the oath binds a member for the rest of his life, and that there is no way to revoke this oath. I was also told however, that at least according to the rules of the Grand Lodge of the state that I was initiated into, that I am not yet a Freemason as I did not complete the remaining two degrees. I also read somewhere that one is linked to the order forever, even if it's against his will at a later time. Regarding the last part, I talked to a higher-up member of Builders of the Adytum, who I am assuming knows a thing or two about occultism. I was told that it is impossible to link yourself to something forever against your will, and that the last part was simply a method of controlling me through fear. In no words of the oath did I agree to be linked to Freemasonry forever. I seriously need help on this, it has got me so messed up you wouldn't believe it. I smoked probably about a 1/2 pack of cigarettes in one day, and I do not usually smoke. On top of this, I also honestly wished I were dead at one point in time. Please help.