Wow, thanks for pointing out the blazingly obvious there oh wise one. A lowly person like me obviously didn't know that and used the chosen word soley by chance. Maybe it is me but the more you write the dumber you sound and the more it becomes obvious that you feel superior to everyone and want us to: take pity on you for the burden of wisdom you bear that we cannot understand and you will never accept anything another says without trying to pick it apart.
Good luck in your life but if you ever petioned my Lodge you would get a Black Cube!
a black cube eh?
ive smoked alot of those back in the day...
but seriously...
We must assume the lad is here because he wishes to learn and and he won't be encouraged in this if we start talking about black cubing. Clearly he has a fair distance to go but with time and patience he could surprise many here.
your right, but i understand though.
i know what im saying can be seen as very obnoxious,
but i just dont know a better way to say it.
also im expressing fairly raw emotion here.
im fully aware alot of it is unwarrented, and virtualy none of
it is desireable.
but its there and i have to find ways to deal with it.
so i lay things bare so they can be analyzed.
i want you all to know that i do respect each and every one of you, and im fully aware that i can lern lots of things from each of you.
none of what im saying realy applies to you, or at least
none of the emotions are realy aimed towards you.
being masons you all represent for me an idea of people
making efforts that the average person i deal with in real life
cares nothing for.
this lack of caring is something that is also a big part of my frustration.
so you see, i wouldnt be talking about this here if i associated
you guys in any way with the object of my frustration.
also the part of me that im expressing is the part i want to change.
i want to understand more about why i feel these things in
such a disproportionate manner so that i can work towards
Antonius - please read these words.... again....
"One requirement of an aspiring Mason would seem to be beyond you at the moment: the ability to hold all your brothers as equals.
Smart, dumb, rich, poor, white, colored, white-collar, blue-collar, tall, short, old or young: all are equal in Masonry.
Having read your posts it seems you are not ready to hold yourself to this idea. Until you can; Masonry is not a wise choice."
I have to say I agree with this counsel.
You have chosen your path and seem determined to follow it to it's end. That is your decision and I wish you well.
Maat
i think i understand.
i guess thats what im trying to do, resolve those things
that are standing in the way of my doing that right now.
Before I write this I want you to understand something. I am in a similar place to you regarding IQ but I am not in the same place regarding my perception of those around me and this is not some kind of attack.
i understand, your in the space im trying to get to.
My problem is that you seem to regard all of your fellow humans as inferior (unless they have a higher IQ than you), I've got to tell you they're not, they're not even close. Each is given a talent and it's not always about mental faculties.
its like my heart knows it, my mind knows it,
but my ego keeps kicking my inner child in the chins...
or something like that.
i know what your saying and i agree with it, and all this
stuff i was saying earlyer is about perception and emotion.
its what things feel like, and what i experiance as the nature
of my frustrations.
i guess what im realy frustrated with is not so much people,
but the absurdity of life in general maybe.
maybe im just having trouble dealing with the simple concept
that there is stupidity in the world, and i cant change it.
or something like that...
also maybe alot of it is just bitterness over missed oppertunities.
teachers not having noticed and given better guidance and stuff like that...
An intelligent person can articulate so that others (regardless of the receiving IQ) can understand what they are trying to communicate, especially in the written word where there is no rush to get a message across. You may have the potential but you do not appear to have either the focus or discipline required to achieve something with it.
i think that may be in large part because i have problems with structure.
one of meny reasons i should go and get myself tested for ADD...
I would also add that here on this forum you have no enemies, it may seem to you as if you are being attacked but you are not, that is just your perception. Relax, you are merely being questioned by people who are willing to converse with you and offer guidance but are finding it difficult as you're being a bit "circular".
interacting on the forum here is helping me alot on that point.
though it may not seem like it, i feel i am making some progress
in that area.
In regards to my post about the black cube: that is my current view. If Antonius changes his views and has a revelation then that of course could change.
yeah i dont intend to petition untill i have delt with these issues.
Harmony is important to any society; I do not see a harmonious union of Masonry and Antonius at the moment.
i think the problem is mostly a lack of harmony within myself.
anyways thank you all very much for your input, and patience.
this thread is proving very helpfull to me and you have all
given me alot to think about.
this realy means alot to me.