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Post by seekinglight on Dec 4, 2016 21:13:43 GMT
Hey, I'm sure people are already stirred up the title but let me explain lol.
Based on my brief experience with Freemasonry, I took the E.A. degree, quit the next day and violated the oath out of panic due to not really realizing how serious what I was getting into was.
Now in other threads I've talked about demonic obsession-- I am almost completely sure that my recklessness in my esoteric studies contributed to this experience, so to blame everything as I used to would be irresponsible, but here's what I'm beginning to piece together:
What I experienced during the course of malevolent interference was the following: I did not eat or drink for nearly a month out of delusion, and I would also go in spurts where I'd be outright afraid to speak even a word due to delusion.
This clearly seems to relate to the sign of the penalty, so I think that relates to or caused what happened. However I need to make this clear: Although I certainly think there is some relation to the penalty, I do not know exactly how that happened.
Now this is what I have to ask: are others here of the opinion that the oaths themselves invoke wrathful deities upon oneself, or do others think that malevolent beings can just see that and take advantage?
I have really been working on staying balanced recently and not slinging mud when I don't know exactly what happened, so I figured I would just state the experience and let others decide for themselves.
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Post by seekinglight on Dec 4, 2016 22:08:07 GMT
Also this is not said with the intention of scaring others away-- I would also like to emphasize that I was extremely reckless at the time in terms of pursuing multiple schools of initiation. What I have stated is true to the best of my knowledge, however I cannot speak for Freemasonry and say that the oath is what caused the incident-- I don't exactly what the cause of the ordeal was.
Much respect and my apologies if this post appears to be a form of mud-slinging, however this is what I've been contemplating.
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Post by peter2 on Dec 4, 2016 22:26:41 GMT
> I did not eat or drink for nearly a month
It is possible for some people to survive for a month without food, but a week without liquid is usually death.
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Post by seekinglight on Dec 4, 2016 22:38:34 GMT
Sorry-- I didn't eat or drink, but I had to be taken from the psychiatric unit I was in to a place where saline could be administered intravenously. What I said was a bit of an exaggeration-- I ate and drank rarely (maybe 1000-2000 calories during the month?) I went from roughly 135 lbs to 100 lbs during through the course of the ordeal.
Everything I stated is true, I'm just stating experience.
As I've said before, I was also very reckless in terms of pursuing this and that, so I can't lay blame on something when I don't know exactly what happened. What I stated is just a connection that I've made.
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Post by peter2 on Dec 4, 2016 22:59:03 GMT
>quit the next day
How did you do that?
>violated the oath
How did you do that?
>out of panic
What was the panic?
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Post by seekinglight on Dec 4, 2016 23:06:36 GMT
By quit the next day, I mean that I didn't return to the Lodge.
By violated the oath, I mean that I showed someone else the secret signs.
By panic, I mean that after I was initiated I'd immediately regretted taking the oath.
What caused the panic was me reading sources that really promote 'once a Mason always a Mason'-- I had read something somewhere that had stated that the oaths bind one for all of time, not just the present lifetime-- that is what really made me panic.
Whether or not that is considered to be true by most Masons, I'm not aware of. I took the E.A. oath as a young adult, so when I read 'obligated for all of time' I was a little concerned lol.
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Post by peter2 on Dec 4, 2016 23:14:51 GMT
>By quit the next day, I mean that I didn't return to the Lodge.
So that was the next month that you did not go?
>I showed someone else the secret signs.
Why? What did you think that would achieve? The signs have been published for about 200 years.
>What caused the panic was me reading sources that really promote 'once a Mason always a Mason'
And you read those the day after your obligation and then panicked. Why? What did you think was going to happen?
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Post by peter2 on Dec 4, 2016 23:16:50 GMT
Perhaps it is time for you to state in which lodge you were initiated and the date.
What is the name of the secretary who sent you the summons?
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Post by seekinglight on Dec 4, 2016 23:47:46 GMT
No, I don't want other people to know who I am. Everything I've stated on this form is highly personal, and although it is all true to the best of my knowledge (or was at the time that I posted it), I have made many controversial comments.
In terms of summons, do you mean petition?
I don't recall anything relating to a summon, I only remember petitioning the Lodge for membership.
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Post by seekinglight on Dec 4, 2016 23:59:13 GMT
Let me end this by saying that no one is obligated to believe anything that I say, everyone should judge for themselves whether or not what I'm saying is true.
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Post by peter2 on Dec 5, 2016 0:14:01 GMT
>Let me end this
Done.
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Post by billmcelligott on Dec 5, 2016 14:35:26 GMT
Truth like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
If it is true to you then it is true.
It mattesr not if anyone believes you.
It is howevr that you have been left with a bad experience of Freemasonry. Something that gives much pleasure to millions.
Just been having this same discussion about oaths with others on another forum. My view is the oath taken in Freemasonry is a promise from yourself to yourself. If you repeat what is a simple pledge you have only broken a promise made to yourself. You can forgive or beat yourself up, the choice is yours ?
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Post by seekinglight on Dec 5, 2016 18:39:42 GMT
I'm not too concerned with it, everything has a karmic relationship behind it and I was reckless in terms of pursuit so I can't lay blame on Freemasonry entirely.
The fact is that from my experience and what I've read from Masonic authors who are more esoterically inclined, it makes it seem like you're really binding yourself to secrecy under some serious penalties when you take the oath.
But like I posted earlier, I don't know whether the beings tied to Freemasonry itself are the ones who decide to punish you, or if demons just observe what is happening and decide to take advantage.
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Post by boreades on Dec 21, 2016 23:45:24 GMT
seekinglightRe "it makes it seem like you're really binding yourself to secrecy under some serious penalties" Please take comfort! I can't say for sure (because I don't know) what the exact words would have been in your lodge's version of the ritual. But please take comfort, in many lodges the ritual does openly emphasis the "symbolic penalties of the degree". It's a bit of theater, not to be taken literally. It's just meant to help emphasis you are joining a club that takes itself seriously. But maybe in all the novelty of the ritual, the symbolic part passed you by, or you took it literally? In fact, most of masonic ritual is not to be taken literally, it's symbolic or allegorical. Like dying and being reborn, which can happen in one's own lifetime many times as we become more enlightened.
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Post by seekinglight on Dec 22, 2016 15:22:41 GMT
In the Lodge I went to, it was made clear that the penalties were symbolic. But what I was thinking is that since the penalties aren't literal and are symbolic, that what I experienced could be a representation of a 'symbolic' penalty. I can't say for sure on this, but I'm pretty much positive that my involvement with occultism also has to do with what happened. I never had anything to do with demons or devil worship or anything like that, but I think that me being a bit reckless in terms of pursuit couldn't have helped.
Also after I read a source that said 'once a mason always a mason', 'the surrender of free will is permanent', I wanted nothing to do with Masonry and prayed to be released. When I talked to someone from the Lodge, I was informed that I was not a Mason as I'd only done the first degree initiation, so I got what I wanted there. What I read was from a source so pro-Masonry that it bordered on propaganda. The website Masonic info I think was where I read that from.
So from what I can figure out, it seems like I took the oath when I really didn't want to, violated it, prayed to have no involvement with the fraternity thus losing protection which basically gave malevolent beings a chance to attack I think.
Like I said before, from what I think I know everything has a karmic relationship behind it, so I'm not really even bitter about the experience anymore. I was just a bit lost as to what exactly happened for a while, or how the situation occurred.
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